Making the most of the true British? climate

It's getting hot in here. Must be something in the atmosphere. Today, I wake up to lights. Not usually a huge event. But today it was an unknown if I was going to be able to flip the switch and have light emerge from that little bulb thingy in the ceiling. It was a good feeling.

Things are slowly returning to normal. There are people out on the streets, going somewhere. Stores are slowly beginning to open. People are still frantically trying to buy D batteries from sold-out corner stores everywhere. Work has been closed down again for me. There are still some traffic lights down and the subway is still out of service but other than that it's fairly normal.

I love blackouts. It's a really pleasant feeling, while the novelty is still there. People were really friendly last night. Out on the streets with candles talking to their neighbours. (Mine turn out to be from Ottawa). I sat on my rooftop patio with one of my roomates, eating her vegetarian curry and popcorn, cooked on our gas stove, watching the type of stars that won't probably be visible in Toronto for another 35 years. There were even a number of shooting stars that streaked across the sky.

If the blackout had lasted another day, however, it would have been horrid. I was down to about $2 in cash, as were most people. And had no way of getting any more. Water would have run out by the evening and it would have been truly an emergency. But for last night, I was happy to enjoy the candlelight, the community and the silence of a city without power.

Scandal? Nay, Merritiorius.
It was a normal day on the Stars' listserv. "Lori" asked the group whether they'd like to come over to her place and "see her put a golf ball in her ass." "Carol" asked "Thought you peeps might be interested in this other site. Sign up is Free and theres so many people and stuff to do! Check it out. http://www.internetsexads.com" As I said, it was a normal day, not much of interest beyond the cruel and unusual treatment of golf balls.

Suddenly, a voice spoke up out of the wilderness. Cruel and unrelenting. It taunted the Stars. It was the worst imaginable. "John" accused the Stars of plagarism.

He accused them of ripping off: The Smiths, The Magnetic Fields, and...Platinum Blonde. And he had proof.



It was all there in black and white and colour. It was undeniable. It was devasting. There was silence in Stars list serv land.

Then, "Nancy" piped up:

"My boyfriend layed me on top of this speaker one night during sex and the loud music was awesome but what was even better was the vibration from the speaker."

There was no response still from the Stars, clearly too embarrassed to reply.

So "Nancy" wrote again, "Theres over a million men and women looking for no strings attached sex!"

This was clearly too much for our band. There was only one path out of this pain and that was through the bottle. And the bottle gave them courage to respond. It was difficult, though, the plagarism of Platinum Blonde was right there on the page, and the Smiths, well, which good band hasn't ripped off the Smiths. There was only one way to save face...and that was to deny the Magnetic Fields.

"the magnetic fields are absolute fucking shit ,and i've never listened to one of their albums all the way through. Stephen Merritt is a wanker.

drunk, stars. "


It was a brilliant attempt at deflection, shifting the focus from the cold, hard proven case to a viscious ad hominem attack on that "wanker" Stephen Merritt.

"Nancy" took the bait and suggested an Personals site which has "More to do on this site that has to do with being an adult" as a way to deal with wanking.

But John was ready for the Stars counter-attack. He had been holding back. He had more:

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS circa 1995:

all the umbrellas in london couldn't stop this rain
and all the dope in new york couldn't kill this pain
and all the money in tokyo couldn't make me stay
all the umbrellas in london couldn't stop this rain

i don't cry anymore, i go out the door
and i usually keep on walking
i will sit in the bar where the cocktails are
but i really don't feel like talking

etc.

STARS circa 2001:

all the umbrellas in london couldn't hide my love for you
all the rain on thames-side couldn't stop it shining through
i dreamt of you last night lying next to me in blue
all the umbrellas in london couldn't hide my love for you

run to the window and call out my name
we'll meet where the sun goes to hide from the rain, the rain, the rain
all the umbrellas in london couldn''t hide my love from you
when everyone else is hiding rainy sundays drunk at two
you'll whisper sweet lies to me and one of them will be true

etc.

It was all over. There was nothing left to do but explain.

"i've never heard the song to which you refer, although i became aware of it after the fact; no, i stole that particular phrase from a completely different source...i saw it written on a wall in montreal (hey that rhymes). it's good to know twee indie geeks get out with the spray paint now and again isn't it?

once again reiterating that stephen "merrit" is of none whatsoever,

dead child star"

And "Nancy" said "I went to a fraternaty party earlier this spring and a few of the pledges of the fraternaty decided to tie me and 3 of my girl friends up with duck tape. "

It was a normal day on the Stars listserv.

Tripping Daisy
I've just completed my CD for the mix CD chain mail thing I'm doing. For those who are interested, here's the track listing:

Metric—Dead Disco
Postal Service –Such Great Heights
Avalanches-Frontier Psychiatriatry
Magnetic Fields—I need a new heart
Le tigre—Mediocrity Rules
Notwist—Consequence
New Pornographers—Letter to an occupant
Polyphonic Spree—Soldier Girl
Blackalicious—Alphabet
Broken Social Scene—Anthems for a seventeen year old girl
Stars—Elevator Love Letter
M Ward—Vincent O’Brien
Stereo Total—Movie Star
Calexico—Ballad of Cable Hague
Sean Paul—Get Busy
Sondre Lerche—Needles
Corb Lund Band-5 dollar bill
Suburbia-Big City
New Pornographers-the laws have changed